Live For Me
by halfmoon101
Summary: One shot. He hunted her killer for ten years. Never amitting he was staring right at him. For ten years he lied to himself. Now he just wanted it to be over.


5/13/xxxx

The rain pounded the ground, wave after wave after wave of non stop rain. The sky seemed to be crying today too. She was really gone. It was hard to believe. After ten years of the same sight, you'd think he knew by now.

Natsu sat by grave and cried. Every year, at the same time, same place. He cried. Every damn year. The next day, he was back to his usual annoying, bright self.

It was a tragic accident that claimed her life. A mission gone bad. No one talked about the details, heck no one even knew the details. Except him. He knew. He knew and wouldn't tell. No one bothered anymore, he never told. And soon people stopped talking about her entirely. No one visited her grave any more. Everyone had families now. Gray married Juvia and had little water kids. Erza was off seeing the world with Jellal. Levy was never the same after her death, but she was almost back to normal with Gajeel by her side. Lisanna had tried. Tried so hard to love him. Tried so hard to make him love her back. He just couldn't, not after her.

She finally understood and just moved on. Lisanna was now half way across the world, in a tiny small village, living with a great husband, and ten tiny Lisannas. Lisanna visited now and then and placed bundles of pink flowers on her grave. She always loved pink.

Well for Natsu, he never stopped chasing after her killer. Ten years later he was still trying. He could still see her sometimes if he closed his eyes. Her big smile and blond hair. And as quick as it came. She was gone.

He looked at her name. "Oh god," he cried. He knew deep down who really killed her. He didn't want to believe. So he buried it. Deep in the bottom of his soul. But after ten years he didn't think he could do it anymore. "Oh god," he said again.

"Hey, you know I always knew who killed you. I just couldn't...I should've told everyone ten years ago." he said. "Yet here I am, ten years later. Still making excuses. The same stupid excuses I made that day." His voice broke.

He fumbled with his back pocket as he took them out. Her keys. He was even more famous that he has been ten years ago. Back then it was because he was a powerful fire dragon slayer, now it was because he had for some strange reason, that no on but him knew, gave up his dragon slaying fire magic. He was now a celestial mage. No one knew why, they tried to ask. But they get the same answer every time. Silence. The first time had been impossible. Her spirits hated him. They knew the truth, they saw. They all had good reason too. They never forgave him, but let it go just a little. Natsu had been her lover. Even if he had killed her.

Natsu cried out in agony as he realized the truth finally slipped. That's why no one knew about the mission he took with her. Her last mission.

He had been possessed. His mind gone and his will disappeared. He killed her as a mindless monster. Without even realizing it. He snapped out of it only after his flaming hand had gone through her chest.

As the truth was finally revealed he screamed and screamed. Until his throat went hoarse. He killed her. He did. "Oh god help, what am I suppose to do..." On this day ten years ago, they had decided that no one was to come to the guild this day. No matter what happened no one came on this day. Good thing too, no one heard him scream.

Natsu looked at his hands. After ten years on some God-forsaken mission to find the mage who had bent his mind, he almost forgave himself for what he did. He gripped her gravestone until it almost shattered. How could he forgive himself for this. How in hell could he have almost forgiving himself for committing such a horrible thing.

"I'm sorry. I'm so so sorry. It's my fault. It's all mine fault. I killed you...it was me ..." He apologized many times to her grave. But never like this. Never had he actually admitted it was he who killed her. Every year he'd made excuse to why she had died. Every damn year. He'd blame the stupid mage, he'd even blame the cruddy weather for gods sake.

Natsu made a decision that second. He couldn't do this anymore. All the lies upon lie he had built up in his heart hid him away from the horrible truth. He took out a pistol from his belt. The day she died was the day he gave up his magic. He will never ever use the magic that killed her again. He looked at the simple gun. He had been saving it for until he could shoot her killer. That's why there was only one bullet. And that's why he pointed the gun towards his temple. After all these years he finally found her killer.

"I did it Lucy..." He whispered, smiling through tears as he got ready to squeeze the trigger.

_Natsu, you finally did it, now I forgive you._

A simple sentence flew through his head. That simple eight word sentence caused his hand to drop the gun. It fell into the mud with a splash. Never before in his life had he done something so fast. In a second flat he got up and spun around. Looking everywhere for her familiar figure.

He stood still and listened. As he did a pair of pale arms wrapped around his shoulders. He dared not to turn around but he could see a water fall of golden hair in the corner of his eyes. The smell of strawberries and vanilla lingered in the air.

_Live for me Natsu, live. _

And with that she vanished. Leaving him alone with one pink flower tucked behind his ear.


End file.
